“Integrated healing is phenomenal.” – Sean Baker 

I have explored other alternatives (journeys) which have helped and guided me, however, it never really hit the point home as hard and as effective and as quickly as integrated healing.

When Gareth explained the process, and what we were about to do, I remember sitting there saying to myself or thinking, I don’t quite understand what he’s talking about. We both chatted about my issues/feelings and reasons. For me, though nice chatting about it, the solutions were the same. Blame someone or something.  

The fact of the matter was, I still had the sensation of all the feelings prior to doing the integration and thought to myself, what do I have to lose?  

As explained to Gareth, my issue was quite simple. I spent hours and hours of the day in my head by myself, arguing with people that I’ve never met in my life. 

I would argue with a car guard that I don’t even know what they look like, or have met, in a scenario that I never experienced or lived. 

I would argue with myself. 

I would argue with those closest to me which was the worst, because there was no need to argue. Part of that argument was always me trying to justify righteousness. Not from a religious point of view, but just a right and wrong point of view, to justify what I was feeling. As a result of this incessant arguing in my head, I would shut the world and those closest to me, to a point where I would have conversations with those closest to me in my head but not verbally communicate it. 

Something as simple as telling my wife she looked beautiful when she did and she did get dressed up for the function we went to, but I verbally in my mind communicated with her and not physically communicated with her and that really hurt me. Not to mention how they must feel when they are shut out. 

The incessant arguing hindered me from seeing what I actually have around me, even though every day you look around and you tell yourself, I should be grateful for this. I should be grateful for that but the keyword here is SHOULD. I lied to myself here, although at this point I was not aware of it. 

In the first session with Gareth, we did an assemblage point and then a soul integration. 

Having felt the way I felt and with the assemblage point being the first and soul integration after, I was unaware that the soul has such a critical part to play in who we are, how we feel and how we act. 

I can’t explain what he did – he is the expert – but what he did in that first session was phenomenal and was a massive weight lifted off me. Knowing that one my soul is sitting at 90%, much more than I perceived myself to be. My assemblage point was off, but it wasn’t that bad, again more than what was expected. 

I felt that and I think the first words I told Gareth was a massive weight lifted off my shoulder. 

At this point, we did not even touch the issues that I went there for or rather my intent for the journey in two days’ time, but already felt a sense of calm with that weight lifted. 

The next day we did a balance, addressing the issue. The balance Gareth did was in short, touching on the issues. 

Again, I can’t tell you what Gareth does as he is the trained expert but in his words “Bare in mind your soul resonates with affirmations and that is what was put forward by your subconscious” Going through the same process again as we did the day before. 

Now this is the magic part and I don’t think magic is the true word here because there is no such thing as magic. It is YOU. You are the magic.  

Speaking to yourself, looking at yourself. And I know that sounds hocus-pocus… stand in the mirror and do the same thing… sure but that’s your conscious speaking to your conscious. 

As I’m lying there, my hidden self, the conscious/unconscious/hidden conscious / higher conscious and this is for Gareth to better explain, the issue was touched …. deception of My own relationships with myself and forgiveness of self ….I deceived myself …. how? 

Laying there for the first time as far back as I can remember(6/7 years old) it came down to something simple as deception. The way I feel, based on the response and actions of others which I myself thought was being the “better person” or what would make someone happy or proud. 

Like studying to be an accountant because your parents want you to be but you want to be a vet or teacher (LOL, not me but this is a perfect real-world example) though all three great things to study, your heart and soul do not need to be an accountant. Your parents want you to be one, as it makes them happy, right? No! Where is your happiness? 

I deceived myself by allowing myself to take a back seat(be the better person in a sense of speaking) believing negative affirmations about myself, based on those feelings, hindered my ability to shine who I am. Growing up powerless and not being in control.   

Envisioning myself speaking to myself in the conscious subconscious unconscious hidden, conscious and higher conscious and I’m not too sure about the order here, but I was able to envision myself and forgive myself for the deception. Not only did I forgive myself there and then. I also saw the future self the new self in 20 minutes from that moment and made affirmations to cement the new me. Along with me affirming it’s ok to let some people in but not others – this also hit home hard. 

There were more affirmations there but personally, those affirmations are personal and I do think that it will change for everyone, depending on the “issue”. However, the power of affirmation in that “state” on the bed while doing the balance, is the magic of Integrated Healing. For me, anyway. 

Knowing that I deceived myself. Knowing that I know I have the power, gave me the control and the understanding of where those negative thoughts for 30 odd-plus years manifested. 

I regained my power. The power I’ve always had. The ability to shine I have always had… Rather, I have the power to not let anyone control my relationship with myself. 

Is it magic? No. Integrated Healing for me the power that you are in control. 

Protect your soul, honor your body, and be kind to yourself, so that you can shine brighter than the sun.